Touching is not normal in the dog world. At least not like we humans do it. You will notice that puppies climb on each other and lay as close as possible when sleeping. You might notice that they lick each other and lean on each other. Then, you might notice that they place their paws on each other. However, notice that when they place a paw on another dog, it is often either received as a request to play (if this is the case, it is often removed quickly or after the dog being touched by the paw expresses its desire to play as well) or it is received as an unwelcome invasion of space (dog who is being touched pulls away, turns away, or simply ignores the action sometimes with a lowered head if the paw is on its head). There is a lot to learn from these behaviors when it comes to knowing what your puppy prefers regarding physical contact from you. Placing a hand on top of your puppy’s head is not always taken very well, even if the puppy just sits there looking tense. Stroking along the back, under the chin, or even along the side of the face is different. Stroking is a little more like grooming, which is something many dogs are comfortable with, though not all of them. So, what do we do when we want to know what a puppy we are greeting would prefer? We ask! And thankfully, there is a commonly successful way to do this.
Important Note
Before I start, please note that this strategy I am about to discuss is not one I use with puppies who have already demonstrated aggression or fear of being touched. This strategy for testing contact preferences is what I use with healthy puppies who have not shown abnormal reactions to physical contact with people (meaning clear aggression or fear). This strategy is just one way I approach getting to know a puppy’s preferences for contact so I will better understand how to prevent fear of contact (which can lead to aggression) in the future. Please ask before you greet any puppy or dog, and always ask if they are comfortable with greeting before you even look at the puppy or dog. Very few dogs like to be stared at, and staring at them, no matter how cute they are, is not a great way to start your relationship with them, even if it is a brief meeting.
How I Test Preference Upon First Greeting a Puppy
Okay, let’s get into how you can quickly test a puppy or dog’s preferences for contact. The strategy that I use with puppies, especially when I first meet them, is what I like to call the “go, no go” test. Before I get started, I make sure to greet them well. I do not hold out a hand. I just let them investigate me while I engage their owner (usually, I start by asking about the puppy’s breed, name, and where they got it to give the puppy time to check me out. Then I ask if the puppy is comfortable with contact). Note: please do not assume a puppy is comfortable with you touching it just because the owner said it doesn’t mind being petted. It is always better to take things slow and find out they were right than to take things fast and find out they were wrong.
If the puppy shows interest by approaching me and sniffing or seeking eye contact, then, with the owner’s permission, I will toss a treat away from me to encourage good greeting behavior (the treat creates space so I can help them greet me without having time to jump up on me if they are excited. If you do not have a treat, or the owner does not want you to feed them, then you can use your hand as a distraction by tapping your nails/fingertips on the ground gently, away from your body, or you can use a toy if one is available). When the puppy returns to me after getting the treat, I will squat down, angled to one side, and rest my elbow on one knee with my hand held in a loose fist. If I am confident the puppy is genuinely excited and comfortable with people, I open my hand. If they are still comfortable with that, then I will offer my hand to the puppy in greeting. Now, please be aware that dogs and puppies do not need you to hold out a hand for them to greet you. They can smell you without your hand sticking out. I choose to hold out my hand out just a little bit to see if they pull away or move towards it. If they move toward my hand, I know they are not bothered by the gesture, and I will open it. If they do not pull away when I open my hand, I will pet them under the chin and behind the ears (occasionally down the back) while I feed them a treat with my other hand. Note the progression; I start with my hand closed and close to my body and gradually open it and move it closer. With most healthy and well-socialized puppies, this will go very fast, as I see they don’t need a slower approach. But I always follow this approach because some puppies might not be as comfortable as their owners think they will be. So, I always go step-by-step, it is just that sometimes it only takes a couple seconds if I see that the puppy is clearly very comfortable with people and hands.
When the puppy is done eating my treats (I usually only give three, one after the other), I stop petting. If they move towards me again, I show them my empty treat hand and start petting again, this time without giving them food. This is where the true test comes in. If they want me to pet them, they will often realize I have no treats and lean into my petting hand for some affection. However, if they do not want me to pet them, they will usually do one of two things, they will either move away (this can be subtle, so pay attention), or they will totally ignore my petting hand and/or become very focused on something else (usually my treat hand). In these instances, I allow them to leave, and I move away from them. If they come back to me, I may reengage if it is clear that they want my attention and/or affection. Keep in mind that some puppies will grow more comfortable each time they see that you will respond and respect their preferences. So always respond accordingly and be willing to accept their “no” the same way you would want a person to accept your “no.”
On the 20th, I will dive further into the details of each of the “no” responses I discussed here. Because it is pretty easy to tell when a puppy wants to have someone pet them (moves towards you with a level wagging tail, leans on you, etc. - like the photo above), I will focus on spotting when they don’t want you to pet them, so make sure you come back to learn how to spot when a puppy doesn’t want physical contact and what to do about it.
Photo Credit: Unsplash - Mia Anderson