Welcome back to learning about how to test a puppy’s preference for physical contact. A couple of weeks ago, I discussed how I test the contact preferences of puppies I meet and work with. But this week, I will dive a little deeper into what the puppy’s dislike of physical contact may look like and what I often choose to do in response. Last week, I mentioned two responses that puppies often give when they do not want to be touched. They move away from contact, or they completely ignore it and/or become highly focused on something else. There are many more than just these, but for today, I will focus on these two. Let’s take a look.
Moving Away from Contact
We humans move away from people we do not want to touch us. Moving away is often a common behavior that usually gives a very clear indication that we do not want to be touched. Interestingly enough, we humans often ignore this same cue when our puppies and dogs do that same thing. I see puppies greet new people all the time, and this happens: puppy excitedly approaches human, human reaches out and places a hand on top of puppy’s head, puppy moves around to the person’s side rather than their front, person’s hand stays in place, puppy tries moving to the other side, all while still licking and wagging their tale, person’s hand stays in place, eventually puppy tries to walk away, person tries to follow them, puppy has no choice but to do one of two things - hide behind its owner, or jump up and lick the person’s face.
Now, please note that puppies jumping up to lick your face is not always a sign that they are happy. This can be what is called an “appeasement behavior” or a “calming signal” designed to get the human to calm down. It can also be a learned behavior that the puppy knows will get the person to pull away and give them space (we often pull away when puppies target our mouth with their own, and they learn that is a good way to create space).
Instead of following this common approach, it might be better to place a hand in a location most dogs are more comfortable with (e.g., under the chin rather than on top of the head) and then see how the puppy responds. If the puppy pulls away or repositions (please note that repositioning often looks different than the excited wondering that puppies do when they just walk around between your feet and wag their tail), you need to pull your hand away and wait a moment to see how the puppy responds to no contact. If the puppy really wants more contact, it will get closer to you and often lean into your hand when you start petting it again. If it doesn’t want contact, it may just sit down or wander off. You need to allow both responses. Forcing the puppy to be touched by you will not be fun for anyone and could teach the puppy to rely on unwanted behaviors such as excessive licking, ignoring people, and or something more expressive, like lunging and growling, to keep itself safe.
Another important note is that puppies and dogs also have preferences as to where they like to be touched. Some puppies will pull away every time you touch their ears, then come closer every time you stop. If something like this happens, try petting them somewhere else, such as under their chin, on their chest, or on their back. They might want contact, but they just don’t like their ears being handled.
Holding Still or Over-Focusing
The other response I see a lot is the puppy totally ignores my contact and focuses on my treat hand. This behavior can include a totally still body (they freeze) and/or over-focusing (they are not always totally frozen, but they are visually locked on my treat hand or darting their glances between everything but me. They may look at my treat hand, my face, and maybe even someone else, but they will not give my hand on their body any attention whatsoever). Both of these are probably for the same reason, the puppy does not want contact but isn’t sure how to get rid of it. This frequently happens in situations where the human has something the puppy wants, so the puppy doesn’t want to leave but also doesn’t want the contact, or when a puppy has no clear escape route (often the case when there are a lot of people and the puppy is on leash). When this happens, it is important that you remove your physical contact from the puppy. Freezing and/or removing attention from something are common ways dogs and puppies communicate that they don’t like something and/or don’t know what to do to get it to go away. If these signals are ignored, puppies can become fearful and withdrawn when greeting people, and/or they may develop aggressive tendencies that worsen with each human interaction.
Many times, when puppies display stillness and/or over-focusing behaviors when I touch them, they will not instigate physical contact when I stop touching them. As a matter of fact, I don’t ever remember a time when a puppy instigated contact in a situation like that after I removed my hand and stopped petting. I do remember some puppies relaxing and remaining near me. In some cases, they sat on top of my foot or pulled closer to me when other people came near them to pet them. This might be because they learned in the moment that I pulled my hand away that they could trust me to listen to their preferences, and so they felt safe with me. So, keep in mind that just because a puppy does not want to be “touched” does not mean it won’t want to be with you. That being said, please do not force any puppy or dog to allow touching, petting, or “being with you,” as they may develop fear and aggression. At the very least, trust will be broken. Thankfully, most healthy puppies are very forgiving and may change their mind about you if you change how you approach them.
Context is Key
Before I go, I wanted to point out one more thing that is really important for greeting puppies and dogs. That is the context. Some puppies and dogs may be okay with you petting them, but the next time you see them, they are not. This can be due to various reasons, including, but not limited to, things like mood, health, energy, and environment. Here is an example. I used to help raise puppies before they went to their forever homes. One thing I noticed while training puppies was that some puppies did not like to be touched while they were focusing. Now, this was not an aggression thing; they did not show any signs of aggression. What would happen was that when I was training with them, if I reached down to stroke their back or chin, I would see subtle stress signals (lip licking and moving away from my hand were most common for these specific puppies). None of these signals were very dramatic. As a matter of fact, most of them were really subtle. But they were there. I began to realize that these puppies were often highly food-motivated, and what I learned was that they valued the treats they were working for more than affection. This seemed to translate to them finding affection almost frustrating as it was often interrupting their ability to earn a treat (I wasn’t training treat taking, so I was not giving them treats while petting, and my petting was limiting their range of motion, so they couldn’t see me and perform as well when I was petting them). This told me I needed to build an association for these puppies between being touched and getting treats while they were focusing on something else. This is because, as family dogs, they might encounter situations where they will be working on training with one family member, and a young child might happen to walk by and brush a hand over their back or something like that. Puppies need to know that this is normal, and they can still focus and ignore that stimuli and still be comfortable in the environment and not feel like they need to react. This has become one of the reasons I work on body handling with puppies, as it is an important part of their socialization and training to prepare them for living with humans who often don’t see when a dog or puppy is uncomfortable.
The important thing about that story was that I noticed this “preference.” They did not enjoy being touched while focusing on behaviors that would earn them something more valuable. This was solely a context thing. These puppies loved to be petted and played with in other situations, but not that one. So, when you interact with puppies, keep in mind both the context that you are aware of and the context the puppy is aware of. Puppies you meet at Home Depot might be in a context of learning and not want to be petted. They may also be in a context of a lot of new things, and petting just adds to the stress rather than helping. So, the next time you meet a puppy, remember to greet well, test for contact preferences, remember context, and always respect the puppy’s desires. And if you have a puppy you notice does not like to be touched by strangers, please make sure you take the time to work on that with them and get help from a trainer. While it is really important to respect a puppy’s desires, it is also really important to prepare them for the real world and do so before they encounter situations in which they may not be entirely comfortable.
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Photo Credit: Unspash - Joel J. Martinez